Bill Simmons goes off: ‘You know what [Miami] Heat culture is? F*cking luck’

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Christopher Creveling-USA TODAY Sports

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons — who has been a longtime fan of the Boston Celtics, one of the Miami Heat’s biggest rivals over the past couple of years — chalked up Heat culture to “f—— luck.”

“Here’s my hottest take for you [Ryen] Russillo,” Simmons said. “The Heat are f—— lucky. This [Jaime] Jaquez thing, it’s so upsetting. … No, so they get [Tyler] Herro because they win a f—— coin flip with Boston. They get Bam [Adebayo] at 14 because the moron Portland Trail Blazers trade two picks to move up to 10, and they take Zach Collins instead of Bam. And then [Luke] Kennard goes to the [Detroit] Pistons, 12. Bam falls to 14.

“They get [Terry] Rozier for barely anything. They get [Jimmy] Butler because Portland — again, Portland helps them twice. Portland’s f—— stupid. They’re like, ‘Yeah, we’ll take Hassan Whiteside so you can fit Butler in your cap, cool.’

“And then they get Jaquez when the [Los Angeles] Lakers, who he’s playing at UCLA (University of California, Los Angeles). He’s five feet away, and he’s ready to play. He’s ready to be in a rotation.

“I like the point guard they took from Indiana [University Bloomington]. Yeah, I know he has potential, but you have LeBron [James]. He’s 39. You need to get somebody in that draft who can play now, and they just pass on him.

“… It f—— makes me mad. But all of it’s luck. Ah, it’s luck. Everyone’s like, ‘Heat culture!’ You know what the Heat culture is? F—— luck.”

Butler, Herro, Adebayo and Jaquez have all been very impactful players with the Heat.

Adebayo has earned three All-Star nods and four All-Defensive selections across his seven seasons in the NBA. In 50 games played with the Heat so far during the 2023-24 regular season, he is averaging 20.4 points, 10.4 rebounds, 4.1 assists, 1.0 steal and 1.0 block per game while shooting 51.7 percent from the floor and 77.7 percent from the free-throw line.

As for Jaquez, he has exceeded expectations in his first season in the NBA. He is averaging 12.7 points, 3.9 rebounds and 2.6 assists per game on 49.2 percent shooting from the floor and 31.8 percent from deep while playing in all but six of the Heat’s regular-season games thus far.

Herro averages the second-most points per game on the Heat this season — behind only Butler — with 20.8 and also is contributing 5.3 rebounds and 4.4 assists per game, though he has been limited to just 36 appearances since the start of the 2023-24 regular season. He hasn’t taken the court for Miami since Feb. 23, when he dropped 15 points, six rebounds and three assists in an 11-point win over the New Orleans Pelicans on the road.

Last but not least, Butler is arguably Miami’s best player. The 34-year-old is putting up 21.8 points, 5.5 rebounds and 4.8 assists per game on 50.5 percent shooting from the floor in his 13th season in the NBA. But like Herro, Butler has also been in and out of the lineup for the Heat this season, as evidenced by the fact that he’s already missed 19 games.

The Heat picked up a six-point home win over the Utah Jazz in their most recent game on March 2 thanks to an impressive scoring performance from Butler. He ended up with 37 points on 12-of-19 shooting from the field and 3-of-3 from deep. Butler also contributed three rebounds, seven assists, one steal and one block.

Miami will try for its second straight win when the team hosts the lowly Pistons —who are in a tie with the Washington Wizards for the worst record in the NBA — on Tuesday.

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Jesse is a 23-year-old sports journalist with extensive experience covering the NBA.